Premarital Sex Brought Her Closer to God



Dianna Anderson at The Frisky explains how premarital sex brought her closer to God in Girl Talk: What Losing My Virginity Taught Me About Faith:

Losing my virginity outside of a marriage relationship taught me how to be a better person and a better Christian. It challenged my presuppositions about what sexual health looks like, and brought into stark relief the gaps in my education about ethics and holiness. Sex, in this way, can be a sacrament, a movement toward understanding God, a form of holiness experienced in a deep, mystical way. Sex can be holy, whether or not you have a ring on your finger.

Ms. Anderson is probably trying to employ a little shock value here in order to sell an upcoming book or something else to this effect. Of course, what she is saying is a bit blunt, however, it really isn’t that far off from what the nominal western world beleives about spirituality and sexuality.

Let me explain.

This deep mystical religious experience Ms. Anderson is describing only exists in her imagination. How the post-modern western mind understands spirituality is a direct result of the natural/supernatural divide caused by the Enlightenment. This Gnostic  resurgence emphasizes the division (dualism) between the physical (the body) and the spiritual (the mind). Hence, the physical world can be known empirically through the senses, while the spiritual world can be known through emotion and intuition. This counterfeit spirituality arose from the Romantic movement as a counter-reaction to the Enlightenment’s emphasis on the primacy of reason and a cold empiricism that offered a deeper and mystical encounter towards life by emphasizing the primacy of imagination, intuition, and feelings. In short, romanticism emphasizes personal feelings and imagination as the gateway to a religious/spiritual experience where exploring and expressing the self is the same thing as discovering god. In turn, this atheistic worldview forms the basis for moral relativism where nothing exists outside of  pleasing the self that establishes personal truth.

This is how the western mind generally understands spirituality:

  • This is why the most popular interpretations of scripture (especially end times scenarios) are more like science fiction and fantasy.
  • This is why it is commonplace for people to pit their feelings against the Divine revelation of scripture whenever the two conflict with each other.
  • This is why the most successful churches are the ones that stimulate the congregation’s feelings and emotions in order to create a spiritual experience that mystically connects a person to God.
  • This is why baptism and communion has been either shoved aside or even eliminated altogether as the central feature of worship since they don’t stimulate people emotionally, thus spiritually.
  • This explains why people believe romantic feelings purifies sexual activity by creating a deep mystical-spiritual connection to a sexual partner. Furthermore, the sex act also achieves a divine and spiritual purpose since it’s the source that produces this spiritual encounter.
  • This explains why romantic love has replaced marriage as the moral place and context for experiencing sex.

The majority of false theologies that plague Christianity in our current day can be traced back to the rise of humanism/romanticism during the mid 1800’s. For example, the highly imaginative biblical interpretations of the Jehovah’s Witnesses and Mormonism were spawned during this time period…along with many many others.

The scourge of this false spirituality has entrenched itself in the western world ever since the Enlightenment. It grows and evolves with each generation and receives new names such as existentialism, new age or Moralistic Therapeutic Deism.

Here are some examples where the mind determines its own reality like a ghost trapped in the machine of the physical bodythat are now foundations of our society:

  • Abortion: A pregnant woman has the moral license (excuse) to kill her unborn child since the babies mind hasn’t fully developed into full personhood.
  • Transgenderism: The mind determines male or female personhood despite the physical gender of the body.
  • Sexuality: Romantic feelings are what subjectively determines the primary purpose of physical sexuality.

Here’s how romantic feelings have been separated from physical sexuality:

  • Romantic feelings: This is understood to be a pure and non sexual emotion.
  • Physical sexuality: This is understood to be inert or even lustful unless it’s purified by romantic feelings.

Each highlighted point interacts with a gross sexual immorality that destroyed Christian marriage generations ago. You see, it would make no sense to limit sex only to a man and a woman in a permanent relationship that is directed towards procreation and ultimately supported by natural gender roles if what really matters is the gratification of a psychological experience with no regards towards the natural functions of the body. What then makes sex moral is the degree that it satisfies the subjective feelings of the mind. These are the foundational features that define the current egalitarian/feminist sexual paradigm. In fact, this is the sexual paradigm that naturally allowed for the acceptance of abortion, no fault divorce, premarital sex, adultery and homosexuality. They had to be accepted because premarital, extramarital and homosexual sex are egalitarian relationships to begin with! The redefinition of marriage was never some dark mysterious force, instead, it was caused by the practices of heterosexual couples. The apostle Paul highlights this reality in Romans chapter 1.

Furthermore, it’s painfully obvious to see this false spirituality is being driven by the religion of feminism. It’s also no coincidence that the rise of romanticism coincided with the rise of first wave feminism during the mid 1800’s. Sadly, many Christians bemoan the destruction of the family while they agree with first and second wave feminism, but are totally oblivious that the first wave of feminism is the most important part of feminism because every wave of feminism that followed after relied on the basic assumptions they made. Feminism destroys civilizations and once this is set in motion its irreversible. The west will inevitably fall in a repeated pattern that caused the fall of many previous civilizations. The bible explains this pattern in Genesis with the fall of Adam and Eve.

Now it should be easy to understand why Ms. Anderson pits her feelings as an authority against the Divine revelation of scripture:

Purity, for me and for many women, became a distraction from the Gospel. In evangelicalism, purity is so closely tied to a salvation message that loss of purity is necessarily painted as a loss of faith – and this leaves many women wondering what happens if they do make the decision to have sex, even if it’s in the “right” circumstances. Learning to have sex without shame often creates a crisis of faith because we’re told for years and years that sex is shameful, scary and not something women should want.

Ms. Anderson’s words are extremely easy to sort out once a person understands there is no purpose for virginity in the current feminist/egalitarian sexual paradigm. She views herself as a victim who had to overcome the teaching that premarital sex is a sin when feminist sexuality is sanctified through romantic love and is the moral context and place to engage in sexual activity instead of marriage.

C.S. Lewis explains how romantic love is an idolatrous authority that is appealed to like a  god:

When lovers say of some act that we might blame, “Love made us do it,” notice the tone. A man saying, “I did it because I was frightened,” or “I did it because I was angry,” speaks quite differently. He is putting forward an excuse… But the lovers are seldom doing quite that. Notice how tremulously, almost how devoutly, they say the word love, not so much pleading an “extenuating circumstance” as appealing to an authority… In extreme cases what their words really express is a demure yet unshakeable allegiance to the god of love.

Ms.Anderson goes on to explain how Christian sexual morality caused a crisis of faith when it offered her no advantage (Emphasis mine):

When I graduated high school, I was prepared to wait for marriage. I felt God was guiding me to this, and being a virgin meant I would be having some great sex with my future husband.….And then I moved to Japan and started questioning my faith. Lots of little things that I thought were God’s blessing – my job in Japan, my success in academics – were leading me nowhere fast. It wasn’t so much that I was unhappy – it was that I felt totally abandoned and misled by this God I’d been told to believe. I’d done everything right. I’d been told my virginity and modesty and purity would be attractive to Christian men. And yet, nothing was happening, nothing was moving, nothing was clear

No part of what Ms. Anderson is saying here would have anything to do with a genuine practice of faith because everything was being used as a means to an ends. In context, virginity, purity and modesty is the means and attracting Christian men to date is the ends. It’s also very hard to imagine she was really available or looking for marriage when her career and independence was her number one priority.

Sadly, parents often make the mistake of treating their daughters no differently than if they were sons by attaching their self-worth with having a career and being independent. This only drives a wedge between the sexes by making women envious of men. You see, the gold standard of equality and women’s self-worth isn’t based on us functioning as women, instead, its being based on us functioning socially, sexually and economically like men. Well, this just creates a shitty version of a guy! In addition, this only leads to a life of narcissistic individualism where marriage results in the egalitarian cohabitation between sexual roommates who share the bills and rub skin together!

Ms. Anderson explains how her new sexual perspective forged a new understanding of god:

I was clinging to some modicum of faith when I returned to the United States in the winter of 2011. My doubt had taken a toll on me; I didn’t know how to process this new perspective of God that I was developing. I was beginning to see the cracks in the armor of the evangelical church, especially as my views on politics became more progressive and I began to be more concerned about loving LGBT people than condemning them to hell.

Actually, Ms. Anderson is the product of the cracks in the armor of the church being miles wide! The harsh truth is the majority of conservative Christian’s don’t realize that it’s the feminism and egalitarianism they accepted that destroyed Christian marriage and harmed the family, not the specific features they opposed such as abortion and homosexuality. You see, none of these could have ever become legally or socially accepted without also accepting the core tenants of feminism/egalitarianism. The irony here is the majority of western Christian’s have embraced the egalitarian paradigm while they are totally unaware that the reason why premarital sex and homosexuality is considered sexually immoral is due to the fact they are egalitarian relationships to begin with! This is why the church has lost all credibility in the debate!

The redefinition of Christian marriage began with a philosophical shifting of the sands (romanticism) which empowered the idolization of romantic love (the foundational aspect of any illicit egalitarian relationship such as premarital sex, adultery or homosexuality) which then followed people into marriage until this reached critical mass and marriage was redefined into the current practice of egalitarian cohabitation. For example: This is why the vast majority of young Christians won’t be virgins on their wedding night. It’s just that simple! You see, an entire generation of millennial’s have grown up witnessing the so-called “Christian” marriages of their grandparents, parents and the couples in their churches actually look and act no differently from the marriages of your garden variety atheists or from couples who live together while they criticize everyone but themselves. Young people are just taking the actions of their parents to its logical conclusion.

The purity movement is also behind continued pushes for abstinence only sex education in schools and new anti-birth control movements throughout the United States.experience

Of course, it would be pointless and even offensive to push for virginity until marriage or prohibit birth control if a psychological event is understood to be a spiritual experience-then no other spiritual purpose would need to take place. In this light, the sex act has only as much spiritual intent to please God as sharing a chocolate milkshake together. God needs to be pleased because the couple is pleased! However, this would implicate God as a hedonist by assuming He created no purpose for sexuality outside of how it subjectively pleases the people involved!

The unbroken teaching of Christianity has always taught that sexual morality is a unity between sex, procreation and marriage (Holy Matrimony). Once this is removed from spirituality in the social order of physical creation, then the sexual ethic and morality of Christianity simply falls apart at the seams.

The author explains how sexual immorality created a new morality, spirituality and understanding of God: (Emphasis mine)

When I started dating my then-boyfriend, a lapsed Catholic, I hadn’t been to church in over a year, though I still made an effort to pray and study the Bible. My new job was at a church ministrym where I disagreed with the leadership’s theology. Proponents of the purity movement would say that I was falling away from the faith and that’s why I started fooling around with men. I no longer had a deep connection with Christ that I was supposed to have, which made me vulnerable to the manipulations of The World. But this wasn’t my case at all, and the flattening of such a narrative does a disservice to the complexity of faith. Losing my virginity wasn’t the end result of falling away from my faith – it was the beginning of a renewal, of learning to love God and my neighbors more deeply and fully than ever before.

To pretend the manipulation of the world is some dark mysterious force is very confusing and simply robs young women of having any sense of accountability. What’s being  overlooked is this dark manipulative force is being driven by women through intersex competition because we face no pressure from our parents, church or society to behave any differently. This is what young women will devolve to once all restraints are lifted. In fact, the constant feminist message is that women become more moral by removing all restraints. This message to women is so common that it goes mostly unnoticed. Yet, even being aware of this message doesn’t quite hit home unless the sexes are switched around. Can you imagine how Ms. Anderson’s words would sound if a man were to utter these same words? It would sound much different because feminism is the dominate moral authority that dominates our society.

I highlighted where she clearly describes losing her faith only to embrace a new atheistic faith in herself! She seems to be oblivious to the fact that scripture uses sexual sin alone as a metaphor for idolatry and falling away from the faith. No other sin is constantly used in this way. In Christianity, physicality and spirituality is a unified whole, which means the physical act of sex cannot be separated from what the person has become spiritually. For example, Ms. Anderson’s belief that sexual immorality caused a spiritual renaissance that taught her to love God more deeply and fully is symptomatic of the problem. The feminist form of spirituality believes intimacy with God is a deep mystical bond experienced through emotion, however, it should be noted this is the same deep mystical bond Ms. Anderson share and experiences with her sexual partners. This is just atheistic self worship masquerading as spirituality!

In fact, in another post on the Frisky, a former Christian turned atheist explains how her inner voice and feelings created a self-awareness of being her own god:

I realized God’s voice, that feeling of light and connectedness was my voice, my feelings. And I could access it whenever I wanted. All of my spiritual searching was suddenly simplified. Logically, God, the after-life, these things don’t exist. But what I experienced inside as “God” was still in me, and stronger than ever. ….Still, sometimes at church, I felt alive and more connected to myself. I felt “God.” It was the same feeling I had sometimes in nature, during a hike when the sunlight made lace patterns through the trees…I know it is up to me to find grounding in life. God is not in the driver’s seat—I am.

Once spirituality was divorced from our personal bodies and the physical world created by God-then all that remains is the god of the individual and their feelings, imagination and intuition.





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